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We moved away from home almost 2 1/2 years ago. I would be lying if I said I was sad to go. It seemed like everything around us was falling apart. I wanted to get away. I didn't want to face the realities that had recently been revealed. I wanted to close my eyes and ears and sing "LA LA LA!!!"  When our orders came, I said, "Lets get the hell outta here." And we did. I was afraid of what would happen while we were gone. I was terrified my family would fall apart. I felt like I had uncovered a mess and then ran so everyone else had to clean up. I felt so guilty for leaving. But at the same time I felt the Lords hand in my life. I felt Him in the details of every moment that led up to this point. And I knew it was time to let go of the things I couldn't control. I have felt more, changed more, and learned more in these past 2 1/2 years than I thought ever was possible. I felt angry, alone, bitter, frustrated, and resentful. I felt like my childhood memories had now been tainted, in a way not real anymore. I know now that isn't true. And I learned to cherish those memories. I learned to forgive. To trust. To rely on Christ in my times of heartache.  I learned to see people for who they are, and to recognize the Lords hand in every acquaintance. He has sent people into my life that have helped me heal, laugh, learn, grow, and to help me realize how blessed I truly am. I have learned who I really am. I am the daughter of David and Jennifer. Their love (or lack of) for each other does not define me. I love my parents. They gave me life and my sisters whom I love and adore. They raised me in the gospel. They worried over me, prayed for me and taught me many valuable things. The good memories will always overpower the bad. I am the wife of Stuart. He loves me with a love I never knew was possible. He has held me through all my struggles. He gives me strength and shows me patience. He has given me more happiness through my children than I feel I deserve. He has taught me unconditional love. He made me a mother, which has been the biggest blessing in my life. My children are beautiful, smart, challenging, amazing, funny and precious. They have taught me more than anyone or anything. I am a daughter of God. For a long time I struggled with what that meant. If I really believed, or deserved that title. I know now without any doubt that is who I am. That all of the trials, heartache, happiness, joy, we encounter in this life stem from a loving God who is desperately trying to help us remember WHO we really are. I am thankful for all the things I have gone through that have helped awaken my spirit, to the knowledge of who I am and who I can become. This has given me so much comfort and hope. I know things with my family will never be the "same". I know there is still a lot of healing to be done. But I am facing the future with open arms. And it feels good.